Why I decided to include Professional Coach in my title (and prefer it).
To be honest, the word ‘therapist’ never clicked with me. And if I was completely honest, my lowest letter grade in undergrad was a C and that was in Psychology!! (Just for the record, I majored in Sciences – so Calculus and Biochemistry triumphed over Intro Psych).
So why did I become a Psychotherapist? Well, I was always interested in human behaviour… a.k.a. How we tick and why we think and do the things we do… Why are you different from your best friend or your sister? Or that colleague who is so damn perfect you want to _____ her.
So I studied the brain and hence aligned with the Sciences. Where I really hit a roadblock was in my decision whether or not to pursue Clinical Psychology, or be satisfied in simply majoring in psychology. One of my main reasons for not pursuing the clinical route was my aversion towards labels. I have seen first-hand how young folks are given a label and ‘run with it’. They now identify with this label like it is part of their identity. Don’t get me wrong, there are some situations where this is 100% necessary, but I mean the folks out there who were told at 12 they have ADHD, or 16 ‘you are depressed’ or at 22 have a panic attack and then put on anti-anxiety meds and are still taking them 10 years later. I don’t want people to see themselves like this for the rest of their life. THAT would send me into a depression. Thinking this is it. This is who I am – and I am limited in what I can do or who I can marry or what career path I can take because of this ‘diagnosis’.
You are not broken or messed up or not worth anyone’s attention.
You are human.
You were just going through a low point – a lull, a ‘less than fun time’ in your life. A time where your mind was likely VERY BUSY – so busy it was difficult to see the forest for the trees. That is it.
You just forgot that this is normal. First we identify what it is that is bringing you the most pain. For those with anxiety, it is often attached to some sort of disappointment in yourself. Depression? Often they are filled with an immense feeling of hopelessness and helplessness to what seems to be an insurmountable challenge/problem/situation they are experiencing. Relationships? Chances are you feel that someone let you down.
Then, just like any good Doc… I don’t treat the symptom by either:
- Giving you a pep talk or …
- Telling you ‘what you should do’. Note how I underlined the word symptom…. One should never treat the symptom – but instead the root cause, so we need to go back and understand how your dis-ease came about.
Where is this stemming from? Usually it is not as simple or obvious as one might think.
Once the cause is identified and you have awareness… things become less complicated. You get that ‘ah – ha’ moment, but that doesn’t come with being closed up. You need to 100% trust me and be okay with becoming vulnerable. This is easier said than done, especially for those who have tried to be authentic and genuine with someone – only to be judged. That experience can leave someone with deep scars. However, it is necessary.
You need to feel in order to heal.
In summary – this is when our coaching relationship really begins. Since the fact is that just the awareness is not enough. Why? Because you still need to get unstuck. A thought drives a behavior – and your unconscious thoughts are driving you to do things you really don’t want to be doing. If it was that easy to change…you would have changed this behavior a long time ago. You wouldn’t be reading this right now! Right?
A feeling/thought pattern drives a behavior that drives an action that drives a result. My job as your coach is to provide you with a different result. Because the results you are getting right now ARE NOT WORKING.
You need to invest in yourself and trust the process. You have lived in the dis-ease state too long. Happiness is available to you… abundance, love, security… it is all there. You just need to book your first appointment and I will be your guide from there onwards.