ASK ME ANYTHING

Question: I should be...I could be... During Covid-19.

Dear Luella: I have never walked for any length of time, I am not, nor ever have been a reader, I have done a bit of yoga in my life….. However, it goes around and around in my mind, I should/could be doing more as preventative “medicine” for my health, well being? I think it would be amongst the 1st time I did something outside of my comfort zone!  

Answer: So you are haunted with thoughts of “I should be…I could be…” and yet you do nothing. In other words you are experiencing feelings of guilt and shame surrounding your stagnancy. My question to you then is “Why are you feeling guilty? Who is telling you to do these actions?” If you have been given doctor’s orders to walk or do yoga because of a disease progression, then we can discuss this emotional block a bit more. However, if it is social media posts or societal messaging that are causing the ‘shoulds/coulds’ then I suggest you ignore those messages. Those actions might be the cat’s meow for one person – but obviously it is not for you. Your movement and pleasure may come from cleaning the house, cooking, organizing your husband’s golf shirts and alphabetizing your spice cupboard… Only you know the answer. To sum it up – if ‘it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ You be You. 

Question: I am having trouble regulating my emotions.

Dear Luella: I am having trouble regulating my emotions. I’m feeling angry and irritable more often. I have little patience with those around me. What to do? P.S. Please don’t tell me to breathe.

Answer: Yes. I get it. I feel it too. But telling you it is normal and that everyone is done with Covid-19 will not help you, nor reminding you there is so much for you to be grateful does very little. Although I don’t have a simple answer for you – I can tell you what I do which seems to work well for me. I do breathe deeply laughing and sometimes that just sounds like a sigh. Then let that wise voice from the past enter your head and tell yourself ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’. Save it for another time when you are calm.

Secondly, for the day to day living in Covid-19 piece, I try to immerse myself in something that I love more often. For me that is writing and/or researching and learning. It is easy to lose yourself when you are doing something you love. If your passion has been removed because of the pandemic, then pivot and become curious to try something similar, yet different. You may not feel as productive as you would normally ‘doing something you love’ but maybe that is okay. It is called self-care, and that is okay too. Now, use my favorite mantra: ‘This is temporary’ and scurry yourself along into the present.

My Specialties

Anxiety, Depression, Relationships, Addictions, Self-Esteem

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