Blog
Luella’s pened thoughts on topics relating to emotional fullfillment and personal achievement. New posts weekly.
Betrayal No. 4 Make Your Partner Your Priority
Today we are talking about what it means to form a coalition against your partner. It is the fourth type of betrayal of the ten betrayals John Gottman speaks of in his book What Make Love Last (2012). You may or may not be surprised what a common occurrence this is...
How to Love Yourself
So, some of you have a really hard time conforming to the idea of loving yourself. What does that even mean? What does that even look like? Does that mean scheduling a massage once a month? Getting my nails done or looking into the mirror and saying, ‘I love you’....
Betrayal No. 3 Dishonesty
This is quite straight forward. At least I thought it was straight forward until clients entered my room justifying why, ‘in that situation or in that moment’ lying seemed like the right thing to do. The justification usually sounds something like, “I didn’t want to...
Betrayal No. 2 A Non-Sexual Affair
I love John Gottman’s work on betrayals in general, but especially in relation to non-sexual betrayal, or what many of you might call emotional betrayal. He makes it super simple to distinguish between what is platonic and what is not. This post relates a lot to last...
Betrayal No. 1 Non-Commitment
In John Gottman’s book What Makes Love Last, he describes 10 ways to betray your lover. I am going to get you up to speed on ways your partner may be betraying you – without you even realizing it. By the way, I chose husband in the title, but it goes both ways…read on...
I know relationships are supposed to be hard work, but…
Are they supposed to be this hard? I may not get that exact question asked of me, but I certainly know it is prevalent amongst my clients. And now as we step into the holiday season, relationships tend to become more strained. Personally, I see the older generation of...
The Motivation for Change
There are very few things I am certain about in life, but this next statement is one I can make with a great level of certainty: no one finds it easy to make a change. Why? Change removes a sense of automaticity in behaviour, which equates to energy conservation,...
How to Stop Stressing Over Things You Can’t Control
This topic comes on the heels of last week’s blog post relating to the hormone cortisol. If we minimize stress, we are going to minimalize cortisol. And, if we are able to modulate cortisol, it will have a Goldilocks effect on us – not too much, not too little, just...
Emotional Health
I’m back! Whether you like it or not, here I am again in your Inbox. Actually – not true, you can unsubscribe at any time! There is one thing you can guarantee from me in the coming months however…in my blog posts you will never read ‘in these unprecedented times’....










