In this solo episode, I’m addressing something that’s been showing up constantly in my therapy room—and frankly, it’s been irritating me more and more. Husbands are sending their wives viral videos that essentially say: “This is why I’m losing attraction to you. This is what you’re doing wrong.”

And I need to talk about why this isn’t helping anyone.

I’ll walk you through:

✅ Why sending your wife a video that blames her destroys communication before it even starts

✅ The dangerous message behind “men pull away because women lose their softness”

✅ Why understanding someone’s unhappiness doesn’t justify abandoning your marriage vows

✅ The truth about men being “visual” and why boundaries aren’t insecurity

✅ How shaming women for having emotions won’t lead to better conversations

✅ What my husband and sons actually said when I showed them these videos

✅ Why performative femininity designed to impress men doesn’t help women at all

✅ How to respond when your husband sends you one of these videos (without starting World War III)

Here’s what I want you to hear: Yes, women have blind spots. Yes, we can be defensive, overly emotional, and struggle with accountability. But so can men. And videos that frame everything as the wife’s fault aren’t designed to help marriages—they’re designed to get views.

If you’ve been sent one of these videos, you’re not crazy for feeling hurt. If you’ve sent one, I hope you’ll understand why it landed the way it did. And if you’re creating content about marriage, please—stop performing for one gender at the expense of the other.

Real growth happens when both people feel safe enough to be honest. Not when one person gets handed ammunition disguised as “truth.”

🔔 Remember: Marriage isn’t about winning. It’s about coming back to the table over and over again, even when things get hard. Choose voices that help you speak honestly inside your relationship—not retreat from it.