Before you dismiss this conversation because you think it doesn’t pertain to you, especially if you’re not religious, I ask you to hang in there. Give me a chance to show you that this topic relates to many, even those who don’t consider themselves religious.
If you prefer the term “spiritual” over “religious” because you don’t belong to any specific faith, that’s great – we’re speaking the same language.
If we’re going to have a relationship with God, let’s aim to make it strong and beneficial for both sides.
As far as I can tell, many people’s relationships with God are a bit wishy-washy.
First, let’s talk about prayer. If you’ve ever gone through a challenging time in your life, a time when you felt hopeless or childlike in your ability to endure hardship, and you needed to reach out for help, I can almost guarantee that at some point, you uttered the words, “Oh God, please…”. If so, you are what I would call “religious.” You reached out to a higher power, whether you realized it or not. Even if you just said, “Oh, please…”, ask yourself – who exactly were you speaking to?
Often, this is done silently, on a subconscious level. For example, my daughter left our cabin yesterday to drive home alone. That meant 2.5 hours of driving on the TransCanada Highway, with its winding roads and, at times, only two lanes, among all the other cottagers rushing to get home on a late Sunday afternoon.
After she left, I didn’t find a corner of my cottage to kneel and pray for her safety, but you can bet her safety crossed my mind at least a dozen times during those 2.5 hours. As I went about my evening, I wasn’t just talking to myself; I was talking to God. I often asked, “Please, God…”.
But these types of “Please…” conversations aren’t enough. Building a rock-solid relationship with someone is a two-way street, so what are you doing to contribute? If you’re unsure, here are some pointers on how to pray and how not to pray.
Ask Better Questions
Instead of constantly asking for material things, status, or specific events, try asking for guidance to do His will or live in a way He wants you to live. When you do this, your need for control over life becomes less important, and a sense of peace enters your heart.
Don’t Bargain with God
Never start a conversation with, “If you do this, then I’ll…”. When you do that, you’re putting yourself above Him and trying to manipulate the future distortedly. Also, consider what will happen if your request doesn’t pan out. Does God get punished? Instead, say something like, “God, I feel the need to control the following outcome, placing all my happiness and peace on it happening. Please help me release my control and grant me peace and understanding so I can continue doing Your will, irrespective of the outcome.”
Ask God ‘Why’ the Right Way
When you’re feeling positive, confident, and optimistic, it’s easy to converse with God and say, “Why wouldn’t I get promoted? Why wouldn’t this deal work out for me? Life is great, and one good thing after another happens to me.” But the following week, when grief strikes and you’re knocked to your knees, the conversation changes to, “Why me? Why did this happen to my family? Why now?” Can you see how trivial and useless this “Why” question is when your faith is so shaky? It’s better not to see yourself as the creator of all good things and God as the instigator of all bad things. Understand that you have no control over anything. The better mindset is trust and faith that what happens is God’s will. This doesn’t mean prayer is useless. Prayer for others and yourself is essential to living a good life.
I could go on forever, but I hope you get the drift. Prayer is never unheard. God wants you to lean on Him in times of trouble – but not only then, and not just when it fits your schedule. He asks for daily prayer. Pray for all those in need, those who have less than you. He wants you to depend less on things according to your plan and more on trusting in Him.
If you have no relationship with God, you can start today by taking one minute to thank Him for all you have around you. But chances are, this simple act will take more than a minute.