One cloudy November morning, I felt a wave of melancholy settle over me. I’m usually optimistic, and when I’m not feeling my best, I make it a point to look inward and figure out why. Ignoring it is never an option.
After a couple of days of reflection, I identified seven sources of what was weighing me down:
- Overconsumption
- Complexity
- Comparison
- Criticism
- Lack of meaning or purpose
- Lack of sunlight
- Disconnection
Now, here’s the encouraging part. The solutions are simple. But first, I want to share what I think triggered these feelings.
I realized it was a creeping sense of inadequacy around wealth. Financially, I’m stable, though I wouldn’t call myself rich. Yet, for some reason, I felt I wasn’t earning enough, doing enough, being productive enough. I definitely felt ‘not enough’. It puzzled me—why was this feeling overshadowing me?
I recently started reading Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. As someone who believes in the power of the mind and the impact of limiting beliefs, I was interested in knowing it’s spin on the limiting beliefs surrounding money. But this book has a heavy focus on money. With rich in the title, this shouldn’t have been a surprise.
I realized that diving into this money-centred content was contributing to my low mood.
These days, once you focus on a topic, the algorithms surrounding us serve more of the same. For example, I’m passionate about growing my YouTube channel because it’s an educational space where you can learn almost anything. Yet suddenly, my feed became filled with content on making money—no doubt influenced by what I’d been reading.
My greatest concern for teenagers dealing with anxiety and uncertainty is the shift in social media algorithms since 2016, from chronological feeds to targeted content. Knowing what you concentrate on shapes your emotional reality; we, as parents, must be mindful of what our children view. Concentrating on feelings of ‘lack’ or ‘not good enough’ depleted my usual happiness, and I fear the same for teenagers.
Here is what helped me find my way back.
For me, it was about reconnecting the teachings of the church. (You don’t need to be religious to relate to this – read on). I remembered that we’re here to serve and love one another—not to consume endlessly. That means focusing less on ourselves and our needs (suggesting lack or not enough) and instead taking time to step outside of our ‘me’ narratives. It also helped me to see a cloudy day as reminders of how precious light is.
Practicing gratitude daily helps us focus on what we do have rather than seeking more. Love others freely, not for anything in return. Ironically, when we’re authentic in expressing love, abundance often follows naturally. Searching for meaning through consumption only fuels egocentrism, comparison, and discontent.
I decided to cultivate curiosity about how I could better serve others, stepping outside myself. And suddenly, the heaviness lifted.
Always remember that November allows us to light more candles, slow down from the busyness of the other seasons, rid our homes and minds of clutter, gain more rest, reflect more on what is important to us, and, most importantly, focus more on others.