If you are a woman 40 years or older, you will appreciate the meaning behind these words. If you are a man and have heard these words, you are also very much aware of what happens once these words leave a woman’s mouth.
Having a career as a therapist, I can confidently tell you that when a woman says those three words, she means it.
These words are typically uttered at a point in a woman’s life when up to that point, she bit her lip and remained quiet and ‘obedient’. This may come off as sitting in a boardroom and hearing your superiors speak badly about colleagues, whether that be through discriminatory remarks or publically displaying their errors, a friend constantly gossiping about another, a family member taking advantage of your kindness, or willingness to step up for the greater good, these are all excellent reasons.
However, the context in which I have heard these words most prominently is during marital challenges when the woman threatens to leave the marriage. Up to this point, she has gracefully coalesced through carefully chosen words or expressions of need, to which she may have received lip service or nothing.
I AM DONE when the cup overflow-eth. Once it spills, it is extremely difficult to mop up the mess.
Folks, we don’t want or need it to get to this level. Cleaning up the mess means a lot of work for the individual who is ‘done.’ This person needs to get rid of anger and frustration. The past will replay repeatedly, consuming the mind and making it impossible to stay in the present.
What to do:
- Seek professional help to teach you how to rewrite the past.
- Seek professional advice to teach you a new way of expressing your needs.
The bottom line is that you never want to leave a relationship angry. Doing so will attract more anger, perpetuating the ill feelings into infinity.