Just as a wife deeply desires to be loved and cherished, a husband yearns for respect. For a man, respect isn’t a luxury; it’s essential. It fuels his courage, strengthens his ability to protect and provide, and empowers him to overcome challenges. Without it, he can feel invisible, unwanted, and unloved.
What True Respect Looks Like
Respect isn’t about blind agreement or silent obedience. It’s about recognizing a man’s inherent strength and good intentions, even as he grows into the man God intends him to be.
Respect communicates:
- I see the good in you.
- I trust your desire to do what is right.
- I will support you through your mistakes and encourage your growth.
In a world where men can feel uncertain, a wife’s genuine respect can be the catalyst that helps him become more trustworthy.
The Challenge: Trust in his 21st-century insecurity
Many women today long to respect their husbands but struggle with feelings of uncertainty due to perceived passivity, distraction, or lack of spiritual leadership in their partners. As experts like Leonard Sax have noted, many men haven’t received the strong guidance needed to lead their families with wisdom and strength. This is particularly concerning when raising children, as a mother naturally desires to entrust her children to a capable protector.
However, respecting a husband doesn’t mean ignoring reality or staying silent about irresponsibility. Instead, it’s about actively choosing to encourage his best qualities rather than resorting to nagging or treating him like a child.
This involves:
- Praying for his strength daily.
- Nurturing his positive instincts instead of focusing on his flaws.
- Offering guidance and support, not control.
- Allowing him the space to grow, even if he falters.
- Placing your ultimate trust in God, not in your husband’s perfection. Remember, you’re trusting God to work through him.
Simple, Everyday Expressions of Respect
You don’t need grand gestures to show respect. It’s cultivated through small, consistent choices.
Here are some practical ways:
- Thank Him Often: Acknowledge his efforts, big or small. (“Thank you for your hard work.”; “I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”)
- Let Him Lead in Small Ways: Trust his judgment in everyday decisions.
- Speak Well of Him: Praise him both privately and publicly. Never undermine him, even jokingly. (“He handles pressure well.”; “He’s always resourceful.”)
- Ask His Opinion: Value his perspective, even if you have your own ideas. (“What are your thoughts on this?”)
- Give Him Space to Solve Problems: Resist the urge to immediately intervene. (“I have confidence you’ll find a solution.”)
Respect isn’t something a man earns after achieving perfection
In Summary
- Respect calls a man forward — it doesn’t ignore reality, it invites him to rise.
- You’re not trusting in his perfection. You’re trusting in God’s ability to work through him.
- Every man needs a wife who believes he can be more than he sees in himself.
- Respect is not silent submission — it’s hope in action.
- A man’s leadership is nourished by a woman’s trust, just as her heart is nourished by his love.