Welcome back to my blog. Today I wanted to lighten it up a bit because I know my entries have been rather heavy lately, as it often pertains to ‘doing what you ought to do rather than doing what you feel like doing’.
Let’s talk about therapy. Why do people go to therapy, and why do some drop off while others decide to continue?
I had a lovely conversation with one of my clients who has been with me for 8 years. Honestly, I would need to ask her actually to know… Let’s just say a long time. She dropped off here and there and then realized she needed to come back. Currently, we have a sweet spot of seeing each other every three weeks. When she sees me, she is never ‘desperate’, but that is the point. There is never ‘a dull moment’… we often laugh about – yet she is in a good space.
We all know that marketing a product or service has nothing to do with the actual product or service, but everything to do with the emotion it evokes in you. So I asked my client, “What emotion or feeling do you obtain from coming to therapy?”
Her response was, “ It brings objectivity to the situation. I cannot rely on my friends or family to tell me the truth, and sometimes I need to hear the truth.”
She is 100% correct from my point of view. A bad therapist is a therapist who is also your best friend. I will admit that it is VERY uncomfortable for me to tell a client the truth, because the truth is often ‘inconvenient’ for the client to hear. Because the truth usually means they need to do the hard thing. There is likely a behavioural change that they have been trying to avoid for a long time. This is often why specific clients refuse to come back to see me. These clients are not the ‘truth seekers’, as Christ wants us to be.
Luella: What else? (Our conversation continues).
Client: Accountability – I know when I come back in three weeks that “I need to tell you what I did and didn’t do…” Makes sense. Some individuals have the discipline to do the hard things, while others love to make excuses for why they cannot make the required behavioural changes. I don’t have to list them, but often I feel like I am the Grade 5 teacher in front of the student who is explaining why they were unable to complete their homework…
Luella: What else?
Client: Sanity – reassurance that I am not going insane. Again, it makes a lot of sense. In a world in which we often feel like we are going off the rails, on this crazy train, it is often comforting to know that we are not! That your perspective is sound and cohesive. As a therapist, I frequently have Ozzy’s voice playing in my head. We are human after all.
Luella: What else?
Client: Prevention… From a person who was constantly in her head, trying to figure things out, which caused erratic mood swings and a grasping for control or a solution to unsolvable problems, it calms my mind. You are my ‘weed’ LOL.
This is so true. We have all become dependent on ‘substances’ to keep us alert, focused, stable, and preoccupied.
I would almost say that being ‘preoccupied’ is perhaps the worst. We are not comfortable sitting in solitude, contemplation, or being in silence. We need to ‘fill it up’ with small talk, chatter, TV, or, worse yet, scrolling through Facebook.
I need to do a separate post on Facebook. It has become a garbage dump and a mindfield of evil just waiting to sink its teeth into you… whether that is simply through consumerist behaviour, nudity, or a place of divisive interactions… I loathe Facebook – and, indeed, Mark Zuckerberg’s behaviour with the US president has spoken loudly about where this man’s intentions and priorities lie. Let’s just say it is not with the family.
Finally, I reward people by lowering the session cost for those who decide on consistency – I call it joining the ‘ Clarity Club’. If you’re interested, please check out this document.
Have a great day!