Many of us feel fake when it comes to our relationships. Relationship with ourselves and our relationship with partners. On the outside, everything looks great…but on the inside, it is often not the same.
I was extremely reluctant to begin posting on social media, particularly Facebook.
This stems from two main reasons, I have seen how some people’s mental health has plummeted due to comparisonitis. Why does my life suck when yours is so great? Second, I keep my personal life under lock and key. I have always been a private, low-key person.
Let’s be honest, we only post our best photos, our best memories with our partner or friends, etc. etc. So therefore of course it is all fake!
But since posting on Facebook, I am seeing a lovely group of folks who have taken the time to read my posts, comment, and ‘like’. I have had marketing experts tell me ‘likes’ are fake as well. Okay, I get that as well, but can’t people just be friendly?
But that fact is, we are all waking around with a degree of fakeness aren’t we?
If you wear any makeup, aren’t you fake? If you choose a ‘sliming’ line of clothing, if you proclaim you eat clean but eating too much sugar during the holidays…aren’t you fake? If you yelled at your kid or partner in the last couple of days and then make a post about kindness, aren’t you fake?
I think the deeper problem is one of self-judgment and therefore I don’t have a problem with choosing to post about xyz while fully knowing that I am both a work of art and a work in progress. I am human. Thus, when I post, I am not going to apologize for choosing a filter so that I look prettier, or for a happy memory with a loved one, be it my partner, friend, or mom – even though we had a huge disagreement the night before.
To me, it all funnels down to You Be You. Genuine authentic you. No apologies you. If it makes you feel good to get all dulled up and then post at your happiest moment of the day, week or month, then do it. If you spend 20 min a day on social media because it makes you feel supported, it makes you laugh, or whatever, you are not a bad person for it.
What makes a difference is WHY you use social media not whether you use social media. Is it to celebrate yourself, and your family, maybe eating a nutritious meal? Or is it to distract yourself from your thoughts? Let’s hope not it is not the latter.
The bottom line, there is always a fine balance in life. If it distracts you from your other responsibilities as a partner, parent, or employee, then it is taking away from the purpose of being on social media. If you are celebrating any part of yourself, which includes feeding your mind with good content that provides a catalyst for self-reflection .. pat yourself on the back.
By the way, no one called me fake, that is not why I decided to post this. I posted it for myself, to honour my needs, and to process my thoughts about Facebook and social media in general.
My goal at the end is for you to see yourself as a woman who has personal power and knows how to use it. Check out my lastest Coaching Offers, Masterclasses and Communions here.