For those of you who need to fall in love with yourself a little more…rather than spend your days pleasing others, this is for you.

I love a specific piece of writing from Frederick Buechner, where he describes how loving yourself is like loving your neighbour, but loving your neighbour more than yourself is dangerous. For those of you who seek validation and worth by the amount you do for others, it is time to realise that you need to reevaluate your intentions.

Let me explain.

What help are you giving another person by jumping into their possibly selfish deluge of despair and request your help to make their day better. You can make the analogy of trying to save a drowning person by swimming right up to them, rather than extending them the life raft and allow them to save themselves.

Whether it is someone who lacks any sense of independence and self-sufficiency or another person who projects their neediness onto you by hiding it under the disguise of ‘it is just a nice thing to do’ lacks any self-awareness that dependency is the enemy of creativity.

As the bible states “ God helps those who help themselves”. In other words, the big guy tells us you must help yourself first. So rather than focusing so much on “Love your neighbour as yourself” because it makes you feel good, it may be more important for you to ‘Love yourself AS your neighbour’.

I need to take out anywhere between two and three hours of my day for myself. Some might describe me as selfish, lucky, egocentric, and self-serving. Still, when you finally understand that it is energy begetting to do this, it seems completely ignorant not to do so.

Also, if I were to do some simple calculations on my awake vs sleep time, I am typically awake 17 hours. So say I take 3 hours a day for myself, that is about 16% of my waking time for myself. Is that selfish?

Let’s take a look at the additional advantages of self care, which all create a ripple effect on those around you.

List 1:

  • Happiness
  • Energised
  • Focused
  • Mindful
  • Caring
  • Empathetic
  • Forgiving
  • Confident
  • Strong
  • Productive

This list goes on and on.

In summary, if you have nothing left in the tank, none of the above characteristics have a chance in hell to materialise. It is well know that those who do not take the time to take care of themselves will begin to manifest the following feelings:

List 2:

  • Depressed
  • Weary
  • Scattered
  • Mindless
  • Apathetic
  • Blaming
  • Defensive
  • Weak
  • Unproductive

So, which list of personality characteristics do you want to be known for? List 1 or List 2? And if anyone you know is upset with your choice of Lists and your subsequent behaviours, just refer them to me and I will straighten them out.

You’re welcome!