At some time in our lives, we have gone through the process of trying to figure out why this person broke up with us. We go through the last few interactions with this person (if it was a new relationship), and question if it was something you said, or didn’t say, did or didn’t do… there must be a reason, but what is it?
And, so the dialogue with yourself begins:
What is wrong with me? Why do I always attract the person that inevitably doesn’t want to be with me? All I want is a companion that I can laugh, play and do life with. Why NOT me?
If this sounds like you, you are not alone. Searching for that perfect person may seem like an endless journey. However, I need to remind you that the length of the journey doesn’t matter in retrospect, it is the pot of gold at the end that will make you realize it was worth it since the journey is all about growth and learning. The fact that ‘the one’ has not yet appeared simply means you are still evolving to the point that your energy will best align with the partner that completes you as a person. The evolution will continue past the point of connection; however, you will now do it together. So, you can relax simply in the knowing that it will become your reality.
Many women lose patience in the journey. They give up because they are tired and fed up. Fed up searching online dating sites, fed up being matched, fed up with getting excited about a person they seem to really like and connect with, only to be rejected once again. They spiral down into self-doubt, self-judgement, and hopelessness. This is where the problems sit. The reinstatement of all the low-energy thoughts keeps them stuck. They have stepped out of the present and into themselves and their ego, along with the ‘should-ofs’ that cycle through their heads like a whirlwind.
Recently, I had a woman in her 40s describing the exact scenario. She was extremely down and discouraged because of a one-month relationship ending. She realized it was too short to become extremely attached, but she said it had been one year since she felt any attraction to any man, so it was exciting for her. He ended it quite suddenly and his reason was that he wasn’t ready for marriage. She felt this was ridiculous because she never once said that was in her vision and told him that it would be fine to just be with each other as companions. He again said no.
I explained to her that she didn’t have to articulate the words ‘ I want to settle down’ because she emulated her energy spoke the words for her and he astutely picked up on it. She asked me how she could rid this low energy once and for all. We began with step 1 of my program. I helped her to choose the new words she would tell herself to replace the old words of self-deprecation. In step 2 we established the micro-goals or opportunities she would have on any given day to establish a new way of self-talk that aligned with the confident woman she longed to rebirth. In step 3, we continue to build this habit of thought until the habit built her (up).
In other words, when she relaxed and practised self-awareness, it was much easier to catch her thoughts and fill herself with self-love and self-honour. The happiness was felt consistently, despite being alone. It is only at this time that she was now ready to attract a man who wants to settle down with a lifelong companion.
If you resonate with the story that you are not worthy enough of a lifelong partner that adores and honours you, feel free to reach out to me. It turns out it is not that difficult to attain, once you understand the science of love.