Most couples think it is about communication. ‘ I need you to talk to me’ or ‘ I need you to tell me you love me’. ‘I need you to text me to ask me how I am feeling or how my day is going.’
Do you understand what is wrong with those statements? The words ” I need” are what is wrong with those statements. You don’t need them to do anything. Instead, tell them how you feel.
Your relationship will improve when you start acting and communicating from a place of feeling, rather than a place of thinking.
What I am really saying is to get in touch with yourself first. Only when you speak about your feelings can your partner start understanding you. If you come from a place of need, you are
a) coming from a place of lack, so you will attract more lack
b) discrediting his needs because you are putting your needs in front of your partner
If you are not feeling good about your relationship, then communicate your feelings while honouring his/her needs. Become curious about why your partner is behaving in a manner that you are not in favour of. But before you do that, ask yourself why you are not okay with the behaviour.
I am sorry, but it is all about self-growth and getting curious about yourself before any repair in communication can happen. I say ‘sorry’ because most individuals rather hear that their partner needs to change, not them (also, I am CDN and therefore the word sorry is a part of my daily vernacular
If it was as simple as communication then two individuals could cohabitate as roommates or business partners and live happily ever after. This is why Hallmark can charge $10 for a card! We like to think it is all about communication, but communication comes second. Inner work comes first.
How you behave has everything to do with tapping into your feelings and holding space for the deep hurt while experiencing the incredible joys. How you feel and behave is a reflection of the
balance between your masculine and feminine energy (yes, we all have both). You can choose to live from your wounds or choose to allow yourself to feel ALL of the emotions.
If you are curious to learn more about inner work in order to experience true connection, I am here to help.