You will note stages, but I am not talking about 1. we got married, 2. bought a house, 3. had kids…that is all sequential and doesn’t require memory, recall, or feelings.
I mean something much more meaningful:
1. The first time you felt hurt deeply by your partner and felt extremely alone.
2. In your hurt, you had the courage to start speaking to your partner, friends, or family about it.
3. The ‘questioning’ of your relationship has become a frequent thought in your mind.
4. The energy in this thought has become bigger and stronger in you, while the energy you feel for your relationship drops extremely low. 5. Despite constant discussions, the problems become perpetual and you stop investing in the relationship.
6. You begin to live your own life but your energy for life drops to an all-time low.
7. You realize you cannot live like this anymore (mediocre/routine/sad/disappointed/alone) and seek couple counselling.
8. It helps short-term and then dissipates.
9. Now feeling even more helpless and disempowered you invest in private coaching for yourself.
10. Through self-actualization, you are now able to feel your feelings again and feel more empowered to change, and you realize it starts with you…
What happens after that? The story does not yet have an ending, and that is okay.
You will continue to write your story until the ending becomes extremely clear and your decision of ‘should I stay or should I go’ is determined and you are at peace with your question.
I help women at all stages of their relationships, even if this story tale does not have a happy ending, and it is determined that space apart is what is necessary, then THAT ends happily ever after. Happiness is indeed possible. If the separation turns into permanency and you find yourself going through a divorce, you need not be afraid.
Fear of disappointment and sadness is what keeps so many of us stuck in our relationships. Fear of disappointing their partners, their children, and their parents. But how about you? Don’t you mean anything? Are you not worthy of happiness? Do you think that God, the Universe, or Nature skipped you when It was dishing out self-worth at the time of your making?
Until you realize that YOU are the one that matters, the ONE that requires ‘big’ energy in order to attract all things good into your world, nothing will change.
You will get to the end of life, look back, and have little memories of anything; because you were not present for it. You were hiding in a mediocre life, staying safe, and telling yourself you are happy when you are not, telling yourself you are doing the right thing when really you are just scared of making a decision that you are worthy of more.
Make today the day to decide I am showing up. Let me know your thoughts here.