I Start to Spiral

I Start to Spiral

I hear the following often: ‘ and then I start to spiral’.

In summary, women are telling me that they find themselves in a helpless and uncontrollable position. They tell me their mind takes over and thus so do their behaviours. The behaviours that follow are not favoured. Examples may be texting a person you do not want to text, yelling at your children, or emotional eating – just to name a few.

The cause of this ‘lack of control’ is simple. They have created a thought loop that stems from the subconscious.

I am not going to go deep into the psychology of the minds (conscious, subconscious, and superconscious) but just know that there are many stored memories in the subconscious, likely from childhood.

In step 1 of my transformational program, we look at these stored thoughts that continually cycle through the mind, which then become beliefs. We must realize that the more awareness we place on the thought, the more we believe it is true and the more it manifests into our reality.

In step 2 of the program, we train our mind to focus our awareness on other areas of the mind that contain a higher frequency of happiness, peace, and joy. By focusing on these energies more often, we begin to rewire the mind and our behaviour changes.

I can think of a few women in my program who, while in a new relationship, spoke of how they ‘spiralled down’ quickly because of their partner’s behaviour and their patterned thoughts related to low self-worth. We used the power of awareness (being conscious of the thoughts and beliefs about themselves in the moment of hurt) and thus quickly shifted their awareness to the higher energies in their minds. After weeks and months of practising this, they realized that it is indeed possible to re-engineer their thought patterns. Soon they did not allow their energy to drop suddenly based on a simple comment or behaviour from someone near to them. They realize they can preserve and covet their happiness at any given moment IF they became aware in the moment.

Step 3 of the program is focused on repetition. When we notice that our awareness is shifting to old patterns of thoughts and emotions that carry low energies (frustration, guilt, shame, jealousy, or self-judgement) we shift our awareness to thoughts of higher frequency energy (joy, love, harmony, peace, divinity) and our energy and behaviours consequently shift. We essentially are rebirthed and transformed. This transformational process becomes life-changing for these women.

The next time you find yourself ‘spiralling’ please refer to this post. If I can help you to free yourself from unwanted behaviours or break free from an unhappy relationship into a relationship that celebrates you and your authenticity, feel free to contact me.


My Life Sucks!

My Life Sucks!

These are the words that are resounding around my house…coming from the mouths of my 18- and 20-year-old children. And my response?

It sure does.

With the third wave of lockdowns just coming to surface, I am really starting to feel for these kids. They have entered a social time capsule of sorts. It seems they are trying to continue with studying online, but they are missing out on so much social connection. I mean, think back to your university years. I lived for beer bashes and hanging out having coffee with my friends at University Centre, doing workouts at the gym, or hanging out in Dafoe Library pretending to study.

Not to mention the difficulty of maintaining any sort of job! You are working. Oh, wait a minute, you are not working. You are working again…sorry, that was a dream, you are not allowed to work. Oh, and by the way, we are not connecting with Gramma for Mother’s Day, even though you haven’t seen her for XX months. Let’s just go to the cabin…Sorry, you can’t enter Ontario.

So now that I just added to your already depressed state, let’s try to turn things around a bit and cheer you up. Let’s talk about Prime Minister Trudeau. J JK, that was a joke.

Are you smiling now?


What to do? Well, in the past, I have likely talked to you about the power of the mind. Your thoughts really do create your reality. Your thoughts program your cell biology. A toxic thought can change the structure of our DNA. That is amazing when you think of it. A negative thought, a stressful thought, can literally misfold proteins that structure your DNA.

Knowing that we cannot change what our environment dishes out to us, how do we protect ourselves from harm? How do we stay emotionally and physically healthy when life throws us curve balls all the time?

The answer to change our perception of what is harming to us and what is not. We have all done it. When we start thinking of what ‘may be’ – what ‘could be’ then we are going to go into this regurgitated thinking process and stay stuck there – as our DNA becomes more and more misfolded. We tend to ruminate on the ‘what ifs’ and get stuck in our heads…thinking, thinking, thinking.

What is the definition of regurgitation?  Informally speaking, it is what cows do when they chew on grass. They chew, swallow, and regurgitate it back up only to chew on it a bit more. Disgusting … but very effective. That is…if you are a cow.

You are not a cow. 

You are a human being who wants life to be perfect – and it is not. 

You are a human being who wants life to be perfect – and it is not. And with Covid eventually becoming less threatening and something we will at some time speak of as, ‘Remember when?’ and telling your kids or grandkids what it was all about, you will realize you did make it through. There is another side. This is temporary and patience is a virtue.

Resiliency is something we all need to strive towards, because when Covid becomes an idea of the past, there will be something else on the horizon that threatens us in some way.

So back to the goal of changing one’s perception of what a stressful event is and is not. The best way to do this is to try to reframe the thought. See it in a different light. So, with the example of Covid, you might think of it as, ‘I don’t know why I am challenged as I am right now at this stage of my life, but I trust that it will make me a better person in the end’. Using words such as, “I am CHOOSING to look at these hardships in this way because I am CHOOSING to keep my mind and body healthy”. I am CHOOSING to think this is happening for a reason and I am surrendering to the fact that I can’t control it (lack of socialization, lack of travel, lack of human touch or facial expression) and I am CHOOSING to think of something else that brings me happiness.’

When we regain the idea of having a choice, we replenish that locus of control and that feels good!! Now the healthy hormones are secreted and your biology changes.

Stay healthy in mind and body. You can’t run or eat organic foods your way out of a toxic mindset, nor can you ‘smile’ or quote positive affirmations your way out of eating crappy food.

Do your best to regain balance in all aspects of your life and meanwhile…

Yes, your life sucks (right now J).

“You can’t run or eat organic foods your way out of a toxic mindset, nor can you ‘smile’ or quote positive affirmations your way out of eating crappy food.”

via @luellajonk