If you are someone who struggles to make a decision, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, you are normal.
So, if you are normal, then why is this a bad thing, that is, not being able to make a decision? To be indecisive is a display of the normal psyche. This is because as children, when we felt emotion, our parents would often distract us from that emotion or tell us not to pay attention to that emotion and just do it anyway.
Child: I don’t want to say sorry.
Parent: You took her toy, say sorry.
Child: But I don’t want to. She hit me.
Parent: Say sorry. You have to say sorry.
Parent: Eat the broccoli.
Child: I don’t want to eat the broccoli.
Parent: It is good for you, eat the broccoli.
After years of this sort of impressional patterning of thought, it is natural to start questioning ourselves. Naturally, over the years our brains created neural pathways towards going AGAINST what our emotions, our truth, our beliefs truly are. We have been programmed to go against what we truly desire and believe what is good for us.
Welcome to the Matrix
You have been programmed by your family and society to do and be someone you are not. Which causes you to make decisions that are safe. But the only reason they feel right and safe is because it feels normal. Anything that feels normal means that it has been programmed, it is stored in the subconscious and therefore it is easy. It happens without you even knowing it. It is the path of least resistance.
But just because it feels normal does not mean it is necessarily right for you.
This! Herein lies the work!
We go deep and discover who we are in our best decisions. We look back at the decisions that did not serve us and take inventory of our energy/frequency/situations at that time that likely directed us in the wrong direction.
Bottom line is that we need to truly know ourselves well enough to make better decisions, trust those decisions, and get comfortable being uncomfortable. We need to know that we will be okay, even if we make the wrong decision, and practice more of this.
Practice being uncomfortable is the key to change, and making a decision is the catalyst to change.
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I have been able to cut out toxic relationships, lose 15 pounds, better my marriage, communicate better with others, and been able to put myself first when needed all with her help.
I highly, highly recommend her. Thank you Luella for giving me the support to make the changes I needed to and take back my life.
We take inventory of the decisions you have made in your life that were filled with regret and recall the emotional states at the time those decisions were made. Could your insecurities, lack of connection to Self, your truth, contributed to your indecisions?
What it looks like to live in integrity and honesty with yourself. Indecision is a form of anxiety. It is your nervous system being dysregulated. We will practice a form of psychotherapy called exposure therapy. We will take begin taking small decisions and moving up to more difficult decisions. We go to ‘the edge’ of dysregulation, but not quite ‘over the cliff’.
To really test your ability to ‘regulate’ your emotions, you will be asked to expose yourself to situations that trigger you WITHOUT becoming defensive. It is becoming an observer of life rather than someone needing to react. You start to see your truth and have less interest in what others say about you.
It is time to look inside your soul. This is all about reclaiming your self-identity. Reclaiming who you really are – your truth, source frequency, sense of self. Then we go into willpower – being willing to see and do things differently and personal power.
How do we communicate to those we love so that they FEEL us, not simply HEAR us? They actually respect our requests and understand our needs. You honour yourself, him/her, and your partnership. How we relate to others is truly a reflection of how we relate to ourselves.
We move towards integration of who you really are and what claiming it looks like in real time. More challenges, further exposure therapy and seeing what becoming the fullest expression of yourself looks like. Gathering the responses of your friends and family and being okay with not matter what comes at you. Claiming it without shame, guilt and of course, indecision!!