Is Your Partner Willing to Do The Work?

Is Your Partner Willing to Do The Work?

Recently a man reached out to me primarily to better his relationship with his son. He separated from his spouse a couple of years ago when his son was 13. He and his ex have a good ‘texting’ relationship and are co-parenting quite well.

When I asked him further about his interactions with his son, he described very little talking, despite the open-ended questions the father was asking his son. He received only one-word answers. He presumes his son is angry about leaving his mom and perhaps spending the time between the two houses.

I still wasn’t convinced that the father was seeing the whole picture. He was presuming his son was angry at him when maybe his son was just sad and still processing the hurt he felt.

We don’t know what we don’t know, but if we let judgment and shame take over us, our thoughts can send us into a tailspin. Suppression of his feelings could lead to defensiveness and stonewalling.

My work with this man is for him to process his feelings about the separation and his new life with partial custody of his kids. What if his inability to process and express his own emotions is what led to the communication shutdown between him and his son? If the dad modelled suppressing his feelings, the son is likely to do the same.

It is never too late to turn it around however only if you are willing to do the work. What does this look like?

It is not the ‘processing of trauma’ (and yes, we all have trauma), but instead – how we manage our behaviours that stem from the trauma.

The trauma doesn’t go away.

But with the right techniques interwoven into our everyday lives, we start communicating from our hearts instead of our heads. We get to be us, unapologetically.

And guess what? People love us more because of it.

We get to have both.

So this man reaching out to a therapist was his first act of self-care, self-love and a statement of how much his son means to him. How he is not willing to compromise that relationship by blaming it on ‘teenagers’. When he asked his ex about how he behaves at her house, she replied ‘the same’. Well, to him, ‘the same’ is not good enough! He made phone calls to arrange therapy for the boy as well.

Bottom line, if he chooses to work with me I will take him through the three pillars:

1) Self-Care;

2) An Individualized personal approach of how he could incorporate his idea of self-care and reflection might look like a.k.a what tools work best for him;

3) Continued practice and testing what it might feel and look like as he navigates life’s challenges coming from a place of love and being accountable towards himself with this new self-love and expression of feelings. And in this case man-to-man. How beautiful would that be?

Free to be Me: A Path to Self-Acceptance

Do you know that the feeling of unworthiness is the number one reason for people’s stress, anxiety, and turmoils? After practising psychotherapy for years, I know this to be 100% true. 

Everything from relationship break-ups to financial instability, to deep depression and adult ADHD relates in some way with this sense of unworthiness. 

When I trained as a clinical hypnotherapist and started to practise under Marisa Peer, I realized how true this actually is. When I went to the root cause of people’s hurt or problems, …

Unable to sleep, stop smoking, focus, chronic health concerns, etc., it always trickled down to self-worth. Let me give you some examples:

An estranged mother and daughter relationship. The mother is trying to reconnect to the daughter, who seemingly wants nothing to do with her. The mother is constantly reaching out or sending some form of financial support, and the daughter either takes advantage of her lack of boundaries or disassociates from her completely. The mother becomes depressed and miserable. 

What is happening here is that the mom feels an incredible amount of guilt and shame in the sense that she feels unworthy because of her daughter’s resistance to building the relationship. Why? We don’t know. However, she doesn’t need to know. 

But as humans, we don’t like uncertainty, so we need to know. This is the absolute truth. This is ‘fortunately’ or, unfortunately, the brain’s machinery. Our brain loves logic and certainty. It is our emotions that ‘f-ups’ the circuitry. 


Because with so many situations in our life, we want…but we ‘can’t. We desire…but we can’t. 

But what we don’t know is that…

We can’t because we are programmed to believe we can’t. Why? Mainly because our parents wanted to keep us safe. 

It all comes down to belief. You become what you believe. Your beliefs act as the neurocircuitry. Your beliefs is how the machine is manufactured. 

You know this is true. 


Why do some people seem to have ‘all the luck’? Why, for some people, wealth comes easy. Communication comes easy. Life just seems ‘easy’!!!

Life seems easy because they are choosing to believe it is easy. However, most people think this way because they were programmed to think this way. 

Only the brave are the ones that were NOT programmed to think this way but instead CHOSE to think this way. 

You need a lot of courage to change your beliefs. However, it is the key to happiness. 

Your investment | $666.00 USD

Thanks to Luella it has become abundantly clear how negative thought patterns can be so detrimental to ones health. With her gentle and empowering guidance I finally feel better, feel mentally and emotionally stronger and more in-tune with my body and my sense of self. I can finally begin to see the authentic me rising from the ashes of constant self-destruction, that no longer defines me. All aspects and dimensions of my health have improved thanks to her wonderful techniques to help me begin my journey to healing. She’s so personable and approachable, very professional and great follow up, I would highly recommend her to anyone in need of someone to talk to or just listen. Thank you for everything.

Female, 29 yrs

What’s included

Module 1: Listening in silence – what do you hear?
Do you always feel out of place? Like you should act differently than how you normally act?

Module 2: Replacing Thinking with Contemplation.
Thinking is what ‘busy’ minds do. We are going to go from thinking to reflection, awareness, and intentional thoughts.

Module 3: Who am I now?
Good question. Can’t wait to find out.

Module 4: Calling in Spirit, you Source energy.
If you are not spiritual in the traditional sense, don’t worry. This is where we tap into your soul, and I know you have one!

Module 5: Incorporating the silence between the trigger and the response.
Just because you are more aware doesn’t mean it is easy to not react when triggered, I will teach you how to practice this skill.

Module 6: Embodying the heart-led way of living and what this looks like unique to you.
Simple practices/changes you can make today that will gradually bring your towards a more fullfilled life.

Before Tying The Knot – Full Disclosure

Before Tying the Knot!

Full disclosure…

I sat down to write content for this course and felt overwhelmed! Why? Because how can I even describe the importance of this decision? It could be THE MOST important decision of your life. 

And who am I to be part of your decision?

I am confident AF about being the person to provide you with value because I have counselled couples for decades in my private practice. I have helped them through their worries, doubts and fears, and at the time I wrote this copy, I have been in a committed relationship for nearly 26 years. 


I would not consider my relationship one of great ease. We have had our full share of ups and downs where we both wanted to run away (and did) but came back. I have reflected A LOT on what makes a relationship work and have dedicated my life to studying relationships. I have seen the celebrations and the deep sadness in relationships. I have guided partners on when to separate and when to stay. 

I want to give you as much clarity and confidence as possible in choosing a partner because we want this partnership for life. 

Nothing is more devastating than breaking up a family and, more importantly, a dream. I know you have a dream you are following as part of this decision. You are dreaming about the wedding celebration, the romantic getaways you will share, the family, the career advancements, the home, the milestones, and the conversations on the porch when you are old and gray. Your partner is by your side in the last moments of life. 

Feeling the pressure?

That is why I am creating this course because I want you to feel LESS pressure by making the choice to take this course. It is PENNIES compared to the cost of a divorce, and let’s not even think of the mental and emotional fatigue you would endure when ending a marriage.

Your investment | $555 USD

Topics Covered

  1. Why are we together anyway?
  2. I use a questionnaire I created to review your standards and values and how this measures up to your partners’ standards and values—a review of the non-negotiables in a relationship.
  3. What types of conversations must you have daily (connection, curiosity, and conflict)?
  4. What does balance in a partnership mean to you?
  5. How okay are you with conflict?
  6. What does independence mean to?
  7. What does intimacy mean to you?
  8. What does commitment mean to you?
  9. Finance!! Oh boy, let us talk about money honies…
  10. Drop the expectations, period. Be crystal clear that your partner is not changing for you.

What I like so much about this group program is that you will likely make friends! Other folks that have the same worries, questions and concerns! Win-win…

We will have a Q&A as a final wrap-up to the course. You can make notes and gather your questions as the course progresses. Then, you will submit your questions for me to answer on the final call.

Number of modules? No clue, sorry. I will only tell you that I will teach on each of the ten topics listed until I feel I am complete and then move on to the next, with an additional Q&A at the end.

Luella has been instrumental in resolving years of miscommunication between my partner and I. Without her guidance and support our relationship would not have endured one of the most traumatic incidents any marriage can suffer: infidelity. Luella was patient, and caring in our meetings. She taught us communication and coping techniques, which helped each of us understand what had long been missing in our relationship. We practice these lessons daily, and in doing so we have been able to re-establish a foundation of love and trust. I know we will continue to seek her support and guidance in the future.

Happy Couple

I Decide

If you are someone who struggles to make a decision, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, you are normal.

So, if you are normal, then why is this a bad thing, that is, not being able to make a decision? To be indecisive is a display of the normal psyche. This is because as children, when we felt emotion, our parents would often distract us from that emotion or tell us not to pay attention to that emotion and just do it anyway.


Child: I don’t want to say sorry.
Parent: You took her toy, say sorry.
Child: But I don’t want to. She hit me.
Parent: Say sorry. You have to say sorry.

Parent: Eat the broccoli.
Child: I don’t want to eat the broccoli.
Parent: It is good for you, eat the broccoli.

After years of this sort of impressional patterning of thought, it is natural to start questioning ourselves. Naturally, over the years our brains created neural pathways towards going AGAINST what our emotions, our truth, our beliefs truly are. We have been programmed to go against what we truly desire and believe what is good for us.

Welcome to the Matrix

You have been programmed by your family and society to do and be someone you are not. Which causes you to make decisions that are safe. But the only reason they feel right and safe is because it feels normal. Anything that feels normal means that it has been programmed, it is stored in the subconscious and therefore it is easy. It happens without you even knowing it. It is the path of least resistance.

But just because it feels normal does not mean it is necessarily right for you.

This! Herein lies the work!

We go deep and discover who we are in our best decisions. We look back at the decisions that did not serve us and take inventory of our energy/frequency/situations at that time that likely directed us in the wrong direction.

Bottom line is that we need to truly know ourselves well enough to make better decisions, trust those decisions, and get comfortable being uncomfortable. We need to know that we will be okay, even if we make the wrong decision, and practice more of this.

Practice being uncomfortable is the key to change, and making a decision is the catalyst to change.

Your investment | $666.00 USD

Luella is amazing. I have seen plenty of counselors and therapists in my life. Luella has assisted me in making the most progress in my life, marriage, and general well-being.

I have been able to cut out toxic relationships, lose 15 pounds, better my marriage, communicate better with others, and been able to put myself first when needed all with her help.

I highly, highly recommend her. Thank you Luella for giving me the support to make the changes I needed to and take back my life.


What’s included

Module 1

We take inventory of the decisions you have made in your life that were filled with regret and recall the emotional states at the time those decisions were made. Could your insecurities, lack of connection to Self, your truth, contributed to your indecisions?

Module 2

What it looks like to live in integrity and honesty with yourself. Indecision is a form of anxiety. It is your nervous system being dysregulated. We will practice a form of psychotherapy called exposure therapy. We will begin making small decisions and moving up to more difficult decisions.  We go to ‘the edge’ of dysregulation, but not quite ‘over the cliff’.

Module 3

To really test your ability to ‘regulate’ your emotions, you will be asked to expose yourself to situations that trigger you WITHOUT becoming defensive. It is becoming an observer of life rather than someone needing to react. You start to see your truth and have less interest in what others say about you.

Module 4

It is time to look inside your soul. This is all about reclaiming your self-identity. Reclaiming who you really are – your truth, source frequency, sense of self. Then we go into willpower – being willing to see and do things differently and personal power.

Module 5

How do we communicate to those we love so that they FEEL us, not simply HEAR us? They actually respect our requests and understand our needs. You honour yourself, him/her, and your partnership. How we relate to others is truly a reflection of how we relate to ourselves.

Module 6

We move towards integration of who you really are and what claiming it looks like in real time. More challenges, further exposure therapy and seeing what becoming the fullest expression of yourself looks like. Gathering the responses of your friends and family and being okay with not matter what comes at you. Claiming it without shame, guilt and of course, indecision!!



The fact that you even opened this page means you are considering doing life
differently. Sometimes, life leads us down some pretty crazy
paths that make us feel like we have been chewed up and spat out. 

If you are new to the self-improvement world, congratulations
because you are starting in the right place.
If you are a veteran of self-development, then congratulations
because you are starting in exactly the right place.

YES, you are exactly where you need to be right now.

There is no right or wrong time to take care of yourself.

And this is why I begin the program by teaching you a solid AF
foundation for self-love and self-care.
Without this sort of foundation, you literally don’t have a leg to stand on.

From here, we briefly examine the belief codes you have
allowed to control your world and then move on towards building
CONFIDENCE in decision-making


We know who we are as our own human, ourselves, our reason for being
and we unapologetically uphold our values and standards.

We learn how to lead ourselves through difficult conversations
o that we can be ourselves and still be loved and respected by the people
we deeply care for. 

From here, it evolves practicing calling in, shall we say,
a little help from above. 

Then, we must make our new ways of doing and thinking a ritual.
We can’t just learn it and let it disappear.

We must do it daily!

Note: With ALL Programs, I create them because I NEEDED them and CHANGED because
of them. So, I am so excited to be able to do the same for you.


Your investment | $1444.00 USD

Payment plan available. Contact me for more info.

Option for Freedom VIP

If you want to take this program to the next level, there is a VIP offer. By choosing this, you will get direct mentorship with me. You and I will do this together in close proximity. Homework will be made available (if you like).

You will also get access to all the masterclasses, PDFS, and recordings that I have created. This is incredible value. 

Your investment | $2444.00 USD

Payment plan available. Contact me for more info.

Luella has such accurate insights and advice that is relatable and applicable to actually put into practice. Really enjoy hearing her speak and address concerns.


What’s included

Module 1: A Path To Self-Acceptance

If you are anything like me, you might think I love myself, I value myself, but when you look deeply inside, you may see that this is not ACTUALLY the truth in every aspect of your life. We must LOVE OURSELVES despite what other people think about us. You, your soul, your essence is beautiful. You just need to show up authentically for everyone else to see it. 

Module 2: Distinguishing Fear From Intuition

There was a time when I decided not to do something, I thought it was my intuition telling me not to do it, but then I realized it was NOT my intuition. It is my fear, my limiting belief! In this module, we figure out how to distinguish the two! So important!

Module 3: Making Anxiety Our Friend

I don’t think it is possible to get rid of anxiety, but I do believe we can make friends with it in a way that will change our lives. The point of interjection is in your ability to become aware of your thought patterns and not let your trauma become your drama. 

Module 4: I Believe, and I chose PERIOD. Getting Solid AF with your Beliefs

I have noticed that many of my clients (and myself!) say they believe …but when you really get down to it. They actually DO NOT believe it. This could be everything and anything…but if you say you believe but don’t believe, your energy and alignment are off, which is what is stopping you from starting. Whether this is obtaining a promotion, a soulmate, pregnancy, etc., what is your CORE belief on this topic?

Module 5: I Decide: Feeling the Freedom After the Decision!

YES! More of this, please. This module is so powerful. There is something about making a decision and feeling empowered, not anxious! Not feeling so solid about your decisions is incredibly sexy and irresistible. It brags immense confidence, and who doesn’t want that?

Module 6: Energetics and Emotions: Why Energetics Rules Over Logic 

If you already know a lot about masculine and feminine energetics, then great, you know that balance is key. If you don’t, you are in for a ride. We will also review the body’s energy meridians; everyone should understand this. Understanding how your frequency impacts your life will change your life!

Module 7: Relationship Building

This module centres on relationship building. After working with countless clients who struggle with relationships, having the skill and courage to have difficult conversations is KEY to a stable relationship. Whether these relationships are intimate, career-related, family or in friendships, knowing how to lead yourself will change your life. 

Module 8: Your Support Network is Waiting for You, You Just Forgot to Ask

Leave your EGO behind and know you have all the support you could ask for, but you just forgot to ask! We will discover your unique way of asking Source for help and do it daily. My primary goal for my clients is to know that THEY ARE NOT ALONE when it comes to receiving guidance. There is always ‘someone, some spirit, some energy listening to you’. You just need to be willing to receive it. 

Module 9: Finding Purpose By Going Deeper Inward

We all have a purpose in our time on this earth. You are not simply a parent, a daughter, an employee, a wife, or an owner…you are so much more than this. You have a deeper calling, and once you accept this for what it is, your entire perspective will change. You will embody radical self-acceptance and be even more valued by those around you. This may or may not mean a career change for you!

Module 10: True Conviction: A Life Dedicated Towards Self

In this module, you will discover how badly you want the change. How dedicated are you to changing the trajectory of your life? Doing the work is what a lot of people claim they are doing, but what does that actually look like every single day? You will find out here. 

Module 11: Creating the Ritual

There is no ONE way of creating a connection with Source. You don’t need to meditate on a pillow if that is not your thing. We will discuss all the different ways of connecting to your guides and, most importantly, to yourself so that you will stick to it. This is so important to lasting change. A change that will be non-negotiable once you get into it!

Module 12: It’s a Wrap-Up

Are you ready to embody the new you? We will take this time to discuss embodiment and transformation. This program will lead you through the process that allowed me to become a new person. A person who doesn’t question how joyful they are DESPITE what their immediate external environment displays to them in the MOMENT. No matter what, you will be okay, and you are not alone. This program is all about not allowing your life to simply be mediocre and ‘just get by’ every single day. That is not a life. And that is why you are here. To achieve a life without regrets.