The Gottman Method of Couple Counselling is the type of counselling I was trained in and, frankly, fell in love with. The photo above was from a workshop I attended in Seattle on the topic of Couples and Addiction Recovery many moons ago. I attended numerous additional workshops after receiving the Level 3 training, such as this one on addiction recovery.
Why do all of this training? Well, because, their shit works. When you work with me, we always get to the root of the problem. Most couples come to me thinking they know the problem but often do not.
Their methods help turn conflict into compromise and allow individuals to actually understand their partner in a way that allows them to feel the way all humans need to feel. I don’t mean feel about each other as much as I mean feel about themselves.
The Gottmans are fantastic at excavating the individual’s feelings and turning them into words so their partner understands them in a way they never did before. You see, the reason you are likely having the conflict is because you haven’t expressed your true self to your partner. Your partner doesn’t even know who you are. It’s no one else’s job to explain who you are but you. Mindgames do not work.
I am not trying to convince you that the Gottmans’ methods are the best, but instead, I want to let you know that I have a strong connection with their methods because I have used them repeatedly and received great results.
Great results do not mean all couples that have worked with me were able to save their marriage, but it provided couples with a means to communicate with THEMSELVES first, then communicate well with their partners.
What I am saying is that the individual needs to become an expert in a loving self-dialogue, that is, how they speak to themselves, what thoughts are occupying their minds, and to ensure they are able to question whether or not these thoughts/or stories are true.
The most important point here is for you to know that to self-evolve and understand your partner’s perspective, you must realize that there is no universal truth in any relationship. There is your truth and their truth. Nothing more.