How More Limits Bring More Laughter

How More Limits Bring More Laughter

I am not sure if it is just me or every other woman out there that appreciates humour and laughter in their life.

I was talking to one of my clients about this the other day. I had noticed something different about her.

Her face was not as tight, and the muscles around her eyes were relaxed. Her eyes were brighter. And then she laughed out loud.

I hadn’t seen much of this side of her before, so I pointed it out. She noted she was happier. This made me happier.

We started talking about what an attractive quality it is in another person to have the ability to make someone laugh. I think it is an undervalued attribute of someone’s character. If you are a mother, think of what it feels, looks, and feels like to see your child laughing. 

It is AMAZING.

You cannot help smiling because nothing makes you happier than knowing your child is happy.

When it comes to relationships, it is a powerful way of connecting. 

Does your partner make you laugh? How often do you laugh during the day? Do you allow yourself to laugh?

Laugh at your children, laugh at yourself, or how oddly crummy your day seems to be unfolding?

I want you to take notice of how much laughter you allow yourself to take part in during the day. I think it is as important as taking your supplements or any lifestyle medication you practice (yoga, food, self-care, journaling). After you take notice, compare this to how much you laughed 20+ years ago. Did it change? Why did it change?

Did YOU change or did your view of the world change? I doubt that you changed because remember you are still the same person you were at birth. You inherently did not change. The essence of who you are did not change. You were worthy of happiness, love, and connection then – just as you are now. Did you change or did you get out of alignment with your true self? Did distraction take you away from yourself?

If you are seeking reasons and validation for why you changed, then you must notice how you blame others for your sadness. Remember, if you are not laughing, smiling, and seeing the beauty and joy in your life, then you are focusing on lack. If you feel there is a lack in your life, then the answer is simply to become more focused on what you have AND reunite yourself with who you always were.

You haven’t changed.

You are still there.

No one knows who that person is until you show up as that person.

This might mean you need to remind people what is okay, and what is NOT okay. What takes you away from your laughter is essentially where your limits were not expressed. Do not blame them. Rather, be YOU.

Speak, connect, and remind them of who you are, but most importantly who you always were.

Does this make sense to you? Let me know your thoughts here.

Helping Women Regain Power

Helping Women Regain Power

I was inspired to write this post after reading an excerpt from the Bloomberg Report that stated just two women were among this year’s 14 Nobel prize winners.

This is yet another example of how women remain underrepresented in the world’s most prestigious science awards, noting the lack of diversity in achievement status.

Last Thanksgiving I has the opportunity to split the day between spending time with my mother and my mother-in-law, who despite their ages are still so active in mind and body. I have the utmost respect for these women.

Neither of them had the opportunity to climb the corporate ladder as we now have as women in our generation, but they certainly embraced their power through womanhood; that is, caring for their families with incredible dedication. They gave up their own passions just to be a mother to their children and supportive wife to their partners.

I can honestly say that when it came time for me to make a statement to the world at 18, I wanted to feel empowered differently. Possibly because I did not see my mother as being fulfilled or joyful. I had the yearning to do it more and placed much of my energy into my career.

Looking back now, I see how this was a constant struggle for me. I would get disappointed constantly.

I should be earning more at this stage in my career

I should be spending more time with my kids, friends, or family.

I should look or dress differently.

I should be happier in my marriage.

I should be all of these things, but I felt like I was failing at everything.

It is our time to ask ourselves the basic fundamental question:

What do we truly desire in life?

And then focus intently on that while being incredibly grateful for what we have at this moment in time.

Remember that being grateful for what you have means owning your actions and decisions. This requires having healthy boundaries with yourself and others so you own the action you decide to take instead of feeling pushed left and right to do things throughout the day based, on what others expect from you.

Find out what makes you feel powerful and stand out in the world and claim it now. It might be your womanhood as a mother, or it may be an entrepreneur or a CEO in your career and then coming home to your family at the end of the day happily and joyfully, without disappointment doing so.

You can have both in this world. As a woman, you can leave your legacy in any of these ways and still have the peace and fulfillment you crave while doing so.

Please connect with me if any of you have felt this.

Ahh… to dream…

Ahh… to dream…

Once we hit puberty, it seems as if we are no longer allowed to dream. Goodbye childhood awe…hello reality.

No more Santa, flying horses and Never Neverland. And romance??? Silly girl, there is no such thing as romance… That is only in the movies and books.

Welcome to Reality! Ughh… Welcome to boredom.

But what if we could still follow our desires? After all, the fact that we have a yearning, a deep thirst, means that it was spurred for a reason.

What if we could continue to dream, focus on our desires, and be happy, despite not already attaining what we desire? What if you could put a system in place while waiting for your dreams to come true?

A system that maintains happiness and sets you free from the mediocracy of life. A system that holds you in your lowest of lows and maintains your happiness in the highest of highs? A system that allows you to feel the full spectrum of emotions instead of keeping you locked in neutral – locked into safety – locked into what feels ‘right’.

Life is boring in neutral.

Safety keeps you stuck.

Right robs you of your vitality.

If you connect with this post and it has triggered your curiosity in wanting to learn more…message me and we can connect on a call.

I would love to hear what your desires are or perhaps help you to rediscover yourself again.

Emotional Affair

Emotional Affair

Many of us would love to call ourselves trustworthy, but are we? And do we trust our partners? Do we even trust ourselves?

What if we find ourselves one day discovering that we have stepped into the chasm of betrayal by our partner. Now what? Would it be a deal breaker for you? Was it a deal breaker for you?

In my experience as a coach, I have seen couples’ relationships dissipate quickly – because betrayal was a deal breaker for them. However, 90% of my couples remained together.

There is no proven coaching formula to follow because, to be honest, it really depends on the individual/couple. For some, it gave them permission to end an already terrible relationship, but for many others, it is devastating because it shattered their reality.

The big question asked is always “Why? How could you do this?”. And the common answer is “ I don’t know”. I hear this answer constantly, which just injects more frustration into the situation.

Being trained in the Gottman Method of Couple Counselling has definitely helped me in my coaching practice, as the couple is taken through a series of steps to repair and regain trust. However, to me, it simply reiterates the need for each person in any given relationship to own their worth and identify as an individual, not solely as a couple.

Your happiness does not rely on your partner. You must always remember this no matter what stage of your relationship.

Because of this, I feel the more mature the relationship, the stronger the staying power to work on the relationship. In the newer relationships (~8 years or less) the quicker the relationship ends. I understand the newer couples have ‘less skin in the game’, meaning they may or may not have children at this point, or the time to prove their love for one another.

I have coached many couples through these hard times and the ability to trust once again is extremely difficult, despite truly wanting the relationship to work and deeply loving their partner. As mentioned above, for some it is a deal breaker. They know themselves well enough to realize they will never be able to trust this person again. This is where the real work lies; reconnecting with yourself and engaging on a personal journey of emotional growth and evolution.

I particularly remember one couple I worked with; the woman had ‘trust issues’ prior to stepping into her current marriage. Because she hadn’t done the deep emotional work on herself to trust another person again, she found herself in a second marriage with a husband who had an emotional affair. Rather than me ‘fixing her husband”, I worked with her. I helped her build herself up to choose to make the right choice, mainly by ridding the old paradigms of what she once believed of herself, which is always done in pillar 1. I helped her to reconnect with herself on many different levels in a way that she eventually started to honour herself once again and discover her own values. When her husband began to see her strength, he was more connected and committed to her.

I hope that none of you ever had their hearts broken because of betrayal. However, if you have please let me know if I can help.

I Start to Spiral

I Start to Spiral

I hear the following often: ‘ and then I start to spiral’.

In summary, women are telling me that they find themselves in a helpless and uncontrollable position. They tell me their mind takes over and thus so do their behaviours. The behaviours that follow are not favoured. Examples may be texting a person you do not want to text, yelling at your children, or emotional eating – just to name a few.

The cause of this ‘lack of control’ is simple. They have created a thought loop that stems from the subconscious.

I am not going to go deep into the psychology of the minds (conscious, subconscious, and superconscious) but just know that there are many stored memories in the subconscious, likely from childhood.

In step 1 of my transformational program, we look at these stored thoughts that continually cycle through the mind, which then become beliefs. We must realize that the more awareness we place on the thought, the more we believe it is true and the more it manifests into our reality.

In step 2 of the program, we train our mind to focus our awareness on other areas of the mind that contain a higher frequency of happiness, peace, and joy. By focusing on these energies more often, we begin to rewire the mind and our behaviour changes.

I can think of a few women in my program who, while in a new relationship, spoke of how they ‘spiralled down’ quickly because of their partner’s behaviour and their patterned thoughts related to low self-worth. We used the power of awareness (being conscious of the thoughts and beliefs about themselves in the moment of hurt) and thus quickly shifted their awareness to the higher energies in their minds. After weeks and months of practising this, they realized that it is indeed possible to re-engineer their thought patterns. Soon they did not allow their energy to drop suddenly based on a simple comment or behaviour from someone near to them. They realize they can preserve and covet their happiness at any given moment IF they became aware in the moment.

Step 3 of the program is focused on repetition. When we notice that our awareness is shifting to old patterns of thoughts and emotions that carry low energies (frustration, guilt, shame, jealousy, or self-judgement) we shift our awareness to thoughts of higher frequency energy (joy, love, harmony, peace, divinity) and our energy and behaviours consequently shift. We essentially are rebirthed and transformed. This transformational process becomes life-changing for these women.

The next time you find yourself ‘spiralling’ please refer to this post. If I can help you to free yourself from unwanted behaviours or break free from an unhappy relationship into a relationship that celebrates you and your authenticity, feel free to contact me.